The Wild Hasher
Tune: The Wild Rover

I've been a wild Hasher for many a year,
And spent some time chasing the women and beer.
But now I'm returning with an itch and a sore,
I swear I will never be wanking no more.

And it's no nay never (pause, then clap, clap, clap)
No never no more,
Will I plaaay the wild Hasher,
No neveeer no more.

I went to a whorehouse where I'd often been,
And told to the madame what plight I was in.
She said she was sorry, but what could she say,
In that state of health, I could get me no lay.

I took out my pecker, such source of delight,
For many a girl during many a night.
But the landlady said, "You've just run out of luck,
I won't let you have any girl for a fuck.

I'll return to my parents, confess what I've done,
And ask them to pardon their lost Hashing son.
And if they forgive me, as oft times before,
I swear I will never be wanking no more.